Supine (Introvert/Extrovert) Temperament

SUPINE (Introvert/Extrovert) If you are Supine you probably have many interests and cares, but little ability or need to express your needs. One Supine remarked that to be a Supine "felt like having tape over his mouth." They often have a wish or desire, but are unable or unwilling to express it. The Supine often wish that others could "read their minds." If others have ever observed that you are too sensitive or easily offended, you may very well have a Supine temperament. Slow-paced and diligent, Supines are not indifferent or uncaring about life. Quite the opposite, they may have the strong feeling of the Sanguine but simply be unwilling to express themselves. Perhaps the best way to describe the Supine is that it seems to be a combination of the Sanguine and the Melancholy. The Melancholy expresses little need for and, as a true introvert; they tend to shy away from social contact. A Supine does not express much need for much social contact either; however their need is VERY great! Like the Sanguine, they have a great need for social relationships. They look like they don’t want it but effectively hide their needs and expect you to read their mind. And if you fail to correctly read their mind, they will be “hurt.” Dependability, ability to enforce “the policies” set by others and to serve those they follow, their caretakers, with absolute loyalty. . A Supine will always be inclined to seek out others advice when trying to make a decision. Supines feel very inadequate and consider themselves incapable of making a good decision on their own. They may seek out the counsel of several, and become quite confused if they receive differing opinions. Aggressive disorders, open dependence, defensive against loss of position, weak willpower, a tendency to feel powerless and at the mercy of others-they have such an intense need to serve others, they often become "natural born victims." Other temperament types may view the Supine as a dominating individual. By all outward appearances they are. But the real truth is that they are manipulating others into taking care of them, and do not want the responsibility of actual decision making. The ability to respond to love and to open up emotionally when they feel emotionally “safe.” If treated properly, they are capable of absolute and total commitment to deep personal relationships. However, if a Supine actually feels safe in a close, personal relationship, they can respond and return expressions of caring. They can become intensely loyal, producing absolute, complete faithfulness. No temperament is more prone to this kind of intense loyalty. The inability to initiate love and affection. They require constant reassurance that they are loved, needed and appreciated. Because of their inability or unwillingness to express their needs, most Supines fail to get their needs met. While they appear reserved and cool, the fact is they are truly in need of a lot of close, personal affection, love, and attention. Since they find it nearly impossible to actually express themselves, they simply cannot get their needs communicated. This temperament needs surface relationships.

STRENGTHS Emotion Gentle spirit Desire to serve others Dependable Intensely loyal Can feel God's love, joy, and peace Great capacity to respond to love Work Slow-paced and diligent Great capacity for service Dutifully pleases others Decision making abilities Ability to enforce "the policies" set by others Friends Needs social relationships Likes people Slow to fight back Seeks counsel in decision making Can undertake numerous tasks especially if these tasks are performed for the development of relationships WEAKNESSES Emotion Unable to express themselves Feels inadequate Victim Hurt easily Fear of rejection Harbors anger as hurt feelings Internalizes anger Too sensitive Work Needs constant reassurance Avoids making decisions Makes decisions cautiously Feels powerless Feels at the mercy of others Friends Wishes and desires unexpressed Feels others are superior to them Expect others to read their minds Fail to communicate their needs

Sanguine (Extrovert) Temperament

Sanguine (Extrovert) The Sanguine is a very social person who likes to be with people. Of all the temperaments, the Sanguine is the easiest to be around socially. They are n outgoing, handshaking, touching person. They bring life and energy into a room by their very presence. Their cheerfulness and humor brighten everyone’s life. They are an optimistic type of person who believes life is an exciting and fun-filled experience that should be lived to the fullest. Inactivity causes them stress because the pace at which they like to live their lives is fast and furious. The Sanguine is the most impulsive of all the temperaments. The Sanguine excels in communication-oriented things, but they do not relate well to tasks. They are the least disciplined and organized of all the temperaments. While they are outgoing, enthusiastic, warm, compassionate, and seem to relate well to other people’s feelings, yet they can be rude and uncaring. They tend not to be faithful nor loyal friends, since they do not want to be “burdened down” with commitments; they just want to have fun.  They live as though they have no past or future, the Sanguine rarely learns from their past mistakes. They are prone to exaggerate. They never recognize their failures, but exaggerate to make themselves appear to be more successful than they truly are. The Sanguine’s major weakness is that they adopt severe and destructive behavior. This person will volunteer for difficult tasks and they can and will complete the project so long as their ego is being fed. However, at the first sign indicating that they are not “the greatest thing that ever happened to the world,” the quit! They just stop and walk away and inwardly turn into themselves - caring nothing about the project or those depending upon them. Easily devastated if not constantly reassured they are loved and appreciated. Very demanding of other people for love and affection, plagued with feelings of jealousy when the love and attention they feel belongs exclusively to them is given to others. SUMMARY Friendly, outgoing, inspiring to others, relationship oriented, enthusiastic, warm, optimistic, ability to see the bright side of life and the good in other people. They genuinely like people, are rarely found alone, and freely interact with people. Talkative, always the center of the conversation, apt to take on behavior and morals of the people around them, impulsive, undisciplined, rude, prone to exaggerate, need to appear successful (even to the point of exaggeration), will ignore responsibilities in order to be with people. Lacking persistence and weak-willed, Solicitous, caring person who will do things for other people, almost to the point of servitude. A very charming, gracious person. Takes on responsibilities and makes decisions very well (to a point). Able to express and receive large amounts of love and affection. They are warm and easy to get to know and emotionally open.

STRENGTHS Emotions Appealing personality Talkative, storyteller Life of the party Good sense of humor Memory for color Physically holds on to listener Emotional and demonstrative Enthusiastic and expressive Cheerful and bubbling over Curious Good on stage Wide-eyed and innocent Lives in the present Changeable disposition Sincere at heart Always a child Work Volunteers for jobs Thinks up new activities Looks great on the surface Creative and colorful Has energy and enthusiasm Starts in a flashy way Inspires others to join Charms others to work Friends Makes friends easily Loves people Thrives on compliments Seems exciting Envied by others Doesn't hold grudges Apologizes quickly Prevents dull moments Likes spontaneous activities WEAKNESSES Emotions Compulsive talker Exaggerates and elaborates Dwells on trivia Can't remember names Scares others off Too happy for some Has restless energy Egotistical Blusters and complains Naive, gets taken in Has loud voice and laugh Controlled by circumstances Gets angry easily Seems phony to some Never grows up Work Would rather talk Forgets obligations Doesn't follow through Confidence fades fast Undisciplined Priorities out of order Decides by feelings Easily distracted Wastes time talking Friends Hates to be alone Needs to be center stage Wants to be popular Looks for credit Dominates conversations Interrupts and doesn't listen Answers for others Fickle and forgetful Makes excuses Repeats stories

Choleric (Extrovert) Temperament

Choleric (Extrovert) This temperament is identified as the most powerful (and destructive) of the temperaments. It is not unreasonable to state that the world’s greatest feared dictators and diabolical criminals were perhaps Choleric. However, when this person truly comes to know Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior, and uses their strengths for the glory of God they make some of the greatest leaders in Christianity. The Apostle Paul was in my opinion a Choleric. Prior to his conversion on the Damascus Road Paul used his temperament strengths to advance the cause of Judaism, self interest and terrorizing Christians. After Paul’s salvation he soon became the Apostle to the Gentiles. Paul’s example demonstrates that a person’s spiritual rebirth does not change their temperament. The individual is transformed in the sense of their temperament strengths being used for a different purpose as they feast on the Word of God and grow as a new creation in Christ. The Choleric remains a Choleric before and after their conversion / salvation experience. Cholerics are extremely tough-willed. When they have made up their minds they rarely if ever change it, even if they are wrong. Cholerics will seldom listen to the advice of anyone else. They want to have total control over themselves and anyone around them. Cholerics are of the opinion and belief that they know what is best for those around them, and what is acceptable behavior according to them. They have a severe problem with anger; “the angry temperament”. Cholerics have a tendency to seldom express other emotions such as love, tenderness, warmth and compassion. This is often offset with a secondary temperament. When other people express these emotions they consider them as unnecessary and useless. Cholerics believe that no one else can carry out a task as well as them. They have a tendency to overwork themselves, and are prone to burnout. When carrying out various tasks to accomplish goals they are capable of undertaking any behavior necessary to get it done. Unlike the Melancholy, who is capable of seeing the pitfalls of a project before taking action, Cholerics refuse to see any pitfalls. The Choleric will forge ahead regardless of the cost, the end justifies the means. The Choleric is extremely self-centered and the needs of others do not matter. They are perfectionistic and even their own flaws are flawless. When they are wrong they will not accept it, theirs is the only way that is correct and matters. Yet, when the Choleric is brought under the authority of Jesus Christ, greatness can be accomplished for the Kingdom of God. SUMMARY Being open, friendly, confident, outgoing, optimistic, tough-minded, task oriented, perfectionistic with a good mind for envisioning new projects, and an extrovert of a highly selective nature. Hot-tempered, a people user, although everyone uses people to some degree, the Choleric in “carries the red flag”. They think of themselves as people motivators. They become easily frustrated in their attempts to “motivate” people. They harbor anger and can be cruel and abusive. Being open, optimistic, outgoing, express a great deal of love and affection, and approach only select people for deep relationships. Extremely self-centered (although they do not appear this way), indirect behavior, reject people, reject the love and affections of people (they will accept love and affection only according to their terms), are usually cruel to those who reject their manipulation for love and affection. Tough-willed, a good leader, capable of making intuitive decisions, capable of taking on responsibilities, usually done in an efficient, well-disciplined military fashion. They possess the will power to carry through to completion. Anger, cruelty, capable of undertaking any behavior to keep control. They associate with weak people and then resent their weaknesses. To them, the end justifies the means; so they are capable of very poor behavior. They are highly susceptible to burn out. What a wonderful temperament the Choleric is, when they are submissive to the Lord Jesus Christ. As is with any temperament living in their strengths and not their weaknesses. All things are possible with God, and what a blessing the Choleric can be (living in their strengths and not their weaknesses) for the Kingdom of God. In Hebrews 11: 32-34 we see some good examples from the heroes in the faith.

STRENGTHS Emotions Born Leader Dynamic and active Compulsive need for change Must correct wrongs Strong-willed and decisive Unemotional Not easily discouraged Independent and self-sufficient Exudes confidence Can run anything Work Goal oriented Sees the whole picture Organizes well Seeks practical solutions Moves quickly to action Delegates work Insists on production Makes the goal Stimulates activity Thrives on opposition Friends Has little need for friends Will work for group activity Will lead and organize Is usually right Excels in emergencies WEAKNESSES Emotions Bossy Impatient Quick-tempered Can't relax Too impetuous Enjoys controversy and arguments Won't give up when losing Comes on too strong Inflexible Is not complimentary Dislikes tears and emotions Is unsympathetic Work Little tolerance for mistakes Doesn't analyze details Bored by trivia May make rash decisions May be rude or tactless Manipulates people Demanding of others End justifies the means Work may become his god Demand loyalty in the ranks Friends Tends to use people Dominates others Decides for others Know-it-all Thinks they can do everything better Is too independent Possessive of friends and mate Can't say, "I'm sorry" May be right, but unpopular

Phlegmatic (Introvert) Temperament

Phlegmatic (Introvert) To the observer, the Phlegmatic is extremely slow-paced and stubborn. The Phlegmatic goes through life doing as little as possible, quietly, and expending little energy. It is not clear whether the Phlegmatic has very little energy, or it is because they refuse to use what little energy they do have. They are task oriented with a great capacity for work that requires precision and accuracy and expends a minimal amount of energy. Only sleep can regenerate a Phlegmatic. The world may never know all the brilliant thoughts, great books, spectacular works of art, or wonderful ministries that have been buried with the Phlegmatic. They seldom, if ever, use these ideas and talents because it would require expending to much energy and effort, to put these ideas into action. The Phlegmatic sits back and watches other temperaments busy doing things wrongly and looking at all the things in the world that need to be changed. Identifying the injustice is not difficult for the Phlegmatic in Inclusion; however, they will seldom, if ever, initiate action against injustice. They will try to inspire others to do something, but are not likely to personally get involved themselves. The Phlegmatic is the only temperament the Choleric is unable to control (which frustrates the Choleric tremendously). The Phlegmatic is the most stable temperament. The Phlegmatic is the most stubborn of all the temperaments when it comes to making changes. Because of their tendency to uninvolvement, they are natural negotiators and diplomats. “Peace at all costs” is their motto. The Phlegmatic has no fear of rejection and can handle unaffectionate and hostile people. They are calm, easygoing people who are not plagued with the emotional outbursts, exaggerated feelings, anger, bitterness or unforgiveness as are other temperaments. They are observers who do not get involved nor expend much energy. Their cool, complacent attitude can hurt people that love them.  The way they observe can cause them to never to give of themselves and, therefore, never receive either. SUMMARY The ability to perform tedious tasks, relate to both tasks and people, calm easygoing, extremely efficient and perfectionistic. The Phlegmatic can function quite well in a hostile social setting. Nothing “ruffles their feathers.” Unwillingness to become involved, tendency to be an observer rather than a participant, and use of a verbal defense that often hurts others. The tendency to be very practical, conservative, peace-loving and a good peace maker / arbitrator. Indecisiveness, the tendency to procrastinate, and being very difficult to motivate. They use verbal defenses that often hurt others; it is used against anyone who tries to motivate or control them, particularly Cholerics. Well balanced, easygoing, non-demanding, calm and realistic in demands for love and affection. Unwillingness to become involved in deep relationships, tendency to be an observer only, rarely self-sacrificing, unemotional and inexpressive. Verbal defenses are used to protect low energy supply with regard to physical and sexual involvement.

STRENGTHS Emotions Low-key personality Easygoing and relaxed Calm, cool, and collected Patient, well balanced Consistent life Quiet, but witty Sympathetic and kind Keeps emotions hidden Happily reconciled to life All-purpose person Work Competent and steady Peaceful and agreeable Has administrative ability Mediates problems Avoids conflicts Good under pressure Finds the easy way Friends Easy to get along with Pleasant and enjoyable Inoffensive Good listener Dry sense of humor Enjoys watching people Has many friends Has compassion and concern WEAKNESSES Emotions Unenthusiastic Fearful and worried Indecisive Avoids responsibility Quiet will of iron Selfish Too shy and reticent Too compromising Self-righteous Work Not goal oriented Lacks self-motivation Hard to get moving Resents being pushed Lazy and careless Discourages others Would rather watch Friends Dampens enthusiasm Stays uninvolved Is not exciting Indifferent to plans Judges others Sarcastic and teasing Resists change

Melancholy (Introvert) Temperament

MELANCHOLY (Introvert) Melancholies need to learn to communicate their feelings; emotionally they are very protective and guarded. The way that a Melancholy demonstrates or says that they love someone is by being dependable and responsible not in physical or verbal terms necessarily. Because of their intellectual and analytical energies they can see the end results of a project before moving forward. Melancholies have a very sensitive emotional nature; feelings dominate their being. Sometimes moods will lift them to extreme highs; at other times they will be gloomy and depressed. The secondary temperament will often help balance this out. My secondary temperament is Phlegmatic and it most definitely balances these tendencies in me, especially as I get older. Unsocial by nature, meeting new people is difficult and social activities are draining. Melancholies when rising to their strengths, and once these strengths are brought under God, the Melancholy is capable of great and wonderful things. When Melancholies sink to their weaknesses they become destructive to themselves and those close to them. There is great comfort and reward when we submit ourselves to God (regardless of what temperament we possess) and learn to live out our strengths in the temperament that He has given us. The Melancholy is very valuable in the body of Christ under His control. Read through the Melancholy’s strengths and carefully consider if the Melancholy would not be a blessing and asset to their family, to the Kingdom of God, the Church, and the community where they live. God help each of us to live in the strengths of our temperament, our in-born “nature”, God has given us. The pure Melancholy for example is an introvert and a loner. Melancholies are more task oriented as opposed to relationship-oriented. Melancholies tend to be perfectionists and set unreasonable standards and goals for themselves and the people around them. Melancholies are very loyal people: to their family and friends. If they make a promise the Melancholy will keep it. Melancholies are very creative people, but are prone to deep depression. They are very private people, as well as very serious. They are self-motivated, and do not respond to the promise of reward nor the threat of punishment. Often they are not satisfied with only one chance at something because they feel they could always do better. They tend to take a more realistic viewpoint. A Melancholy knows their limitations and they rarely take on more than they can do. The Melancholy temperament is the most self-centered; their extreme sensitive nature causes them to be easily offended or insulted. They can be suspicious and jump to unfounded conclusions. They have the tendency to self-examine themselves to the degree that they become inactive, and unenergetic; over thinking everything can cause a variety of problems. Melancholies may be calm and quiet on the surface but they are often angry and resentful. They tend to keep those feelings to themselves until they build up and eventually the anger explodes in a fit of rage. SUMMARY Introvert, loner, great thinker, genius-prone, very artistic and creative, often found alone in thought, perfectionistic, slow-paced, great understanding of tasks and systems, a critical and challenging mind, and seeing both the pitfalls and the end results of a project undertaken. Extremely moody, suffer from “black” depressions, reject people, set standards neither they nor anyone else can meet, develop habits that are very hard to break, have suicidal tendencies, low self-esteem and are pessimistic. Good at decisions and responsibilities in known areas, very good leadership abilities. They adhere to the rules and they need very little control over the lives and behavior of others. Rigid, inflexible, sensitive to failure, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, apt to be a rebel and procrastinate. Very faithful, loyal friend and self-sacrificing. Their feelings run deep and tender (even though they lack the ability to express these feelings). They easily empathize with others and have the ability to make very deep commitments. They dissect the past with theoretical “what ifs,” i.e., “what if” he had given me flowers, I would feel loved; “what if” I were prettier, they would love me more. Also, they are critical of others, angry, cruel, vengeful, emotional, rarely tell people how they feel, have a low self-image and are sensitive to rejection from deep relationships. The loss of a deep relationship (even by death) is devastating to them. Melancholies “have sex” with their spouse; they do not “make love” to them.

STRENGTHS Emotions Deep and thoughtful Analytical Serious and purposeful Genius prone Talented and creative Artistic and musical Philosophical and poetic Appreciative of beauty Sensitive to others Self-sacrificing Conscientious Idealistic Work Schedule oriented Perfectionist, high standards Detail conscious Persistent and thorough Orderly and organized Neat and tidy Economical Sees the problems Finds creative solutions Needs to finish what she starts Likes, charts, graphs, figures, lists Friends Makes friends cautiously Content to stay in background Avoids causing attention Faithful and devoted Will listen to complaints Can solve others' problems Deep concern for other people Moved to tears with compassion Seeks ideal mate WEAKNESSES Emotions Remembers the negatives Moody and depressed Enjoys being hurt Off in another world Low self-image Has selective hearing Self-centered Too introspective Guilt feelings Persecution complex Tends to hypochondria Work Not people oriented Depressed over imperfections Chooses difficult work Hesitant to start projects Spends too much time planning Prefers analysis to work Self-deprecating Hard to please Standards often too high Deep need for approval Friends Lives through others Insecure socially Withdrawn and remote Critical of others Holds back affection Dislikes those in opposition Suspicious of people Antagonistic and vengeful Unforgiving Full of contradictions Skeptical of compliments

A Brief Explanation Of Temperaments

A Brief Explanation Of Temperaments

As I became fascinated with the temperaments when I was in high school it was the first time I gained any real insight into personality differences that was helpful to me in real life. Being a Melancholy/Phlegmatic myself I had a strong tendency to always be thinking, analyzing, feeling deeply and gloomy a lot. I needed the external validation I received from understanding that I was just a Melancholy/Phlegmatic and not an outcast. As I age and mature I find myself being more Phlegmatic/Melancholy. I have overcome many of the Melancholy weaknesses and began exhibiting more of the Phlegmatic strengths. So you see we are not stuck at all.

The study of the five basic temperaments can be very helpful in understanding yourself and those around you in a way that allows everyone to be who they are. I've read tons of things about the origin of the temperaments and also the many other similar personality explanations. The history of temperaments doesn't interest me as in the end it has nothing to do with why they are helpful today. The other personality tests and explanations out there are fine but personally I prefer the five basic temperaments - theory. Yes, they are all called theories.

The Supine temperament is a new addition as there seemed to be a huge piece of the pie missing. A real life example is my own mother. Many times over the years when my family would get together we applied the temperament test and every time we all came out about the same. But my mother's temperament just didn't fit very well into any of them. When I read the fifth temperament traits I could see my mother in it perfectly.

There are many books and articles about the temperaments available and also the Internet has more to read on the temperaments than you could read in a year. The reason I am making a website about the temperaments is for all those Melancholy types out there that went through similar inner misery I went through in my younger years having such an inner propensity to get down on myself so much and feel so unwelcome in my own mind.

I included a page about introverts and a little about extroverts as I recently learned a lot more about introvertedness and it ties in with the temperaments quite a bit.

I added a blog to this website as I had the idea of jotting down a few thoughts for the day - not necessarily every day but sometimes.
******************************************************

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. II Corinthians 12 : 9-10
***********************************We're Born With It!

Our temperament is a set of tendencies you were born with and is not very changeable. We will discuss five temperament types. In fact, a combination of two is usually most accurate in understanding ourselves.

Our temperament controls our actions and reactions and it is influenced by our character and our personality.

Our Character is the real us. It is what we really are when no one else is around. Our character is shaped by life experiences (or the roles we play) and all of the things that influence us.

Our personality is how we express ourselves outwardly to others; what we look like to others on the outside; happy, angry, smiling, frowning, etc.. How people perceive our personality is based primarily on what we reveal to them. Sometimes we act like someone we think we should be as a person but, that’s not who we really are.


Understanding your temperament helps with all of your relationships. When you are with others who have similar temperaments it becomes clear why you are comfortable around them. The opposite happens when you are with someone who sees things very differently and you struggle to find common ground.

All the temperament posts were discovered from a great website on this subject: https://fivetemperaments.weebly.com/ 

29 Things They Learned at Catalyst

29 Things They (not me, follow the link) Learned at Catalyst

About Leading Through Change

1. There are two times when people change: when they want to and when they have to.
2. If you’re not ready to embrace change, you’re not ready to lead.
3. People may go along with a ‘how,’ but they will give their lives for a ‘why.’
4. Great leaders don’t ever cast blame. Great leaders take responsibility.
5. Be bold. Tweaks never change the world.
6. You cannot change what you are willing to tolerate.

About Systems

7. If you ever find yourself saying ‘there aren’t enough hours in the day,’  you’re probably experiencing a breakdown in systems. 
8. Weak systems make great people look bad. Strong systems make good people look great.
9. Systems matter because they create behaviors. Behaviors become habits. Habits drive outcomes.
10. Quality is never an accident. Consistency is never an accident.
11. If you’re too busy to create the right systems, you’ll always be too busy.

About Developing Others

12. We cannot look at people and see only what they are, we must look at them and see what they will be. As leaders, we have to help them become who they will be.
13. If you take care of the depth of your devotion, God will take care of the breadth of your ministry.
14. We have to unlock the greatness in others so they can become the people we know they can be.
15. Say, “How do I want I feel at the end of my life?” and that will help you make decisions now.
16. We’d much rather dismiss a generation than disciple a generation, and that must not be.
17. Look at people as God does.
18. Be a multiplier not a diminisher. Be the kind of leader that makes the people around you better.

About “Weeding” in Leadership

19. Growing weeds is easy; growing wheat takes work. You can’t become a better leader without effort.
20. Good leadership habits start small, grow slow, and sprout small. Do not despise small beginnings.
21. The seed never looks like the harvest it contains.
22. When others attempt to pull weeds from your life, do they get poked? Allow people to speak in to your life and help you weed out the negative elements.
23. Original is only better when it’s better. Sometimes it’s better to copy than innovate.

About Anticipating in Leadership

24. The difference between a good leader and a great leader is that a great leader learns to anticipate rather than react.
25. The lifespan of your current structure is diminishing as we speak. If you aren’t changing, you are quickly falling behind.
26. The greatest innovations are born out of limitations.
27. Ask questions, but don’t gather information just to confirm your bias. Ask open-ended questions and absorb information.
28. If you wait until you are 100% sure about something, you’ll be too late.
29. The more confident you are that your prediction is right, the more likely you are wrong.

20 Life and Leadership Lessons Learned From Reggie Joiner

1. God doesn’t use perfect pictures. He uses broken people.
2. God wants to tell the story of redemption and restoration in every family.
3. God’s story of redemption in a parent’s life gives a child a front row seat to the grace of God.
4. The environment you want to create is one where no matter how far people might stray they want to come back
5. People will never believe you love them if they feel you don’t like them
6. Your legacy matters most with the people closest to you
7. Nobody has more influence in the life of a child than a parent
8. A parent is not the only influence a child needs
9. Two combined influences have a greater impact than just two influences
10. 100 years from now, the only thing that will matter in the life of a child is their relationship with God
11. Every child needs another voice saying the same thing a loving parent would say.
12. People will not believe they are significant until you give them something significant to do
13. Fight for people not with them
14. Push others into the spotlight
15. Change isn’t an option
16. Strategic steps beat random programs
17. The problem with needs based ministry is there’s no end to human need
18. Your strategy ultimately determines the success of your ministry.
19. Teach Less For More
20. Focus on who you want to reach, not who you want to keep

The post 20 Life and Leadership Lessons I Learned From Reggie Joiner appeared first on Carey Nieuwhof.

Year Anniversary Tornado Block Party

On the year anniversary of the tornado, we decided to throw a block party for one of the neighborhoods hit hardest by the tornado on December 26, 2015. Over the past year we were able to make some good relationships with many of the families in this part of our community, and it was a pleasure to spend the afternoon with them. We ended the festivities with a candle light vigil around the time the tornado come through our town.

The Big Christmas Do-Over

We had the opportunity to partner with #RowlettStrong and host "The Big Christmas Do-Over!" The event was planned to replace toys that children had lost the year before. It was an incredible event where the community came together to love on the tornado families!

Carly's Baby Dedication

 December 4, 2016, we had Dr. Jimmy Draper come and perform Carly's baby dedication. It was a very special event where we really dedicated ourselves to raising her in the fear and admonition of the Lord. It is our prayer that Christy & I live lives where Carly would desire to place her faith and trust in Jesus as her personal Lord and Savior.

Adding to the greatness of this occasion was Dr. Draper. He performed the same service for me when I was a baby and he was the pastor of FBC Euless. It was really cool to have him out to perform this service and preach at our church!

Coleman's Baptism (version 2)

Another Version of Coleman's Baptism!

Coleman's Baptism

Coleman's Baptism: December 4, 2016

 

Rowlett Neigbhorhood Block Parties

Tonight we held two block parties for those in our community impacted by the tornado. Both were really great events, and everyone had a great time.

Our church family was awesome! We had so many people show up to help setup, greet our honored guests, serve food, visit, cleanup, and just help however needed. Both block parties also saw a good amount of people from the neighborhoods show up as well. We distributed gift cards for those who registered, served dinner, had games and inflatables as well.

My favorite part was hearing stories of our members sharing Christ with others. An unexpected benefit for those in attendance was the residents having an opportunity to share some of their experiences in the recovery and rebuilding process. Glory to God for a great night sharing His love with others!

Relief, Recovery, & Rebuild Partners

Relief, Recovery, & Rebuilding is a journey that no one can do on their own. While it would be impossible for me to properly express my gratitude to all that have helped me and FBC Rowlett throughout this process, I would be doing many of our partners an injustice not to try and mention some of them. Let me just say THANK YOU to all who have offered your wisdom, insight, experience, love, encouragement, and advice during this ongoing process.

Sam Porter with the BGCO Disaster Relief put me in touch with Terry and the Texas Baptist Men. The Texas Baptist Men put in over 1,100 man hours, with over 450 volunteers across the Great state of Texas. The Texas Baptist Men stayed in our church for over 6 weeks. Their team slept on cots and showered in a trailer. They were the first ones in town and the last to leave. They are awesome!

Prestonwood Baptist Church has been invaluable as well. Mike Buster, Joe Perry, Jarrett Stephens, and Pastor Graham have been kind, helpful, and generous to the church and me throughout this process. I am grateful to have worked their during my early days of ministry, and am grateful to still be a part of the Prestonwood family!

Victim Relief Ministries have been incredible as well. Jim was an incredible resource throughout the first 3 weeks of the relief effort, and still serves as an advisor to me personally. He gave us our greatest initial advice in our relief efforts by advising that we not accept used clothing, which allowed our church to have the resources people in our community really needed from the get go. VRM also housed disaster counselors throughout the first 4 weeks at our church.

Guidestone Financial Resources provided us with the opportunity to be Jesus in Workboots to our community. As a result of the insurance they provide, we were able to send out teams from our church to go serve the families in our community to remove debris without having to worry about what would happen if someone got hurt. Not only do they provide this peace of mind, Guidestone actually celebrates the fact that they provide such tremendous services to churches like FBC Rowlett.

Home Depot has been incredible as well. Our local store in Rowlett donated over 1,400 storage bins during the first month of the relief effort. They also sent in corporate executives from Atlanta to Seattle. One multiple days, they sent over 100 workers into the community to do hard work in freezing rain. They were even cool enough to ask me to pray over them before they went out to work!

KLTY was so great to our community as well. They provided 50 families with incredible gifts that went far beyond the monetary dollar figure. For those 50 families, they provided gift cards, crock pots, cleaning supplies, storage bins, and other essentials people needed to get back on their feet.

This is where the list is not long enough. We have been helped by churches not only in Texas, but throughout the United States. We have seen people and donations sent from New York, Michigan, Oklahoma, and beyond. Churches from across the DFW area have sent teams to work in our donation center, to work with our church family in neighborhoods, and have even helped us get the word out. The help offered by so many has been completely and totally humbling. THANK YOU to all who have helped our church in this process, we are grateful!!!

Rowlett Long Term Recovery Committee

In February, the City Council put together a Long Term Recovery Committee to to provide recovery services to individuals and families affected by the tornado that hit Rowlett, Texas on December 26, 2015. It was an honor to be invited to be a part of this committee, and my hope is to represent my Savior and Church well throughout the duration of my time serving the citizens of Rowlett. One thing I am excited about is being able to serve on the Spiritual Care Subcommittee. We were able to put together a team of local ministers to address the spiritual needs of those in our community impacted by the tornado. Pray for many to find Jesus in the storm!

Baptist Disaster Relief

I am convinced the greatest disaster relief workers in the world are from the Southern Baptist Convention. My first call after the tornado was to my friend Sam Porter with the Oklahoma Baptist Disaster Relief team who connected me to the Texas Baptist Disaster Relief Team. Within 48 hours of the tornado, we had men and women from across Texas and beyond housed out of or church. Some stayed for a few days, others stayed for a few weeks, it was unbelievable.

One of my regrets was not getting a picture of each disaster relief truck and trailer from all over the state and country that came to help. Each of these individuals were world class workers, world class people. They brought their own cots or air mattress, made their own food, and showered in their own shower trailer.

My goal for those staying in our team was to simply be the greatest host they have ever had. While we gave it our best effort, they deserve way more than we were able to provide. The Texas Baptist Men were the first in Rowlett, and the last to leave by weeks. Even after the last group left, they still sent teams to help our city recover all the way into the summer. I am a huge fan of the SBC Disaster Relief teams!

Tornado Media Time

Probably the most uncomfortable albeit necessary parts of the disaster relief process was being on television. It is a weird sensation having a camera pointed at you with a reporter asking you question. Most of the time my response left me thinking, "where did that answer come from," but it is one of those times where dwelling on the past will simply drive one crazy. Anyway, our relief efforts drew the attention of several local television and radio stations. I am sure I sound stressed, tired, and confused... which is not news and was accurate! My hope in each interview was to draw some attention to the needs in our city while displaying solid faith in Jesus to get us through the storm!