Sermon on Sex

Last Sunday I preached a sermon on sex at First Baptist Jenks. Let me know what you think. Click here to listen: God's Gift To Your Marriage.

4 Ways to Rekindle Intimacy

1. Don't just tell your mate you love her. Tell her why you love her. She knows you love her; she craves to know why. Adding "because" at the end of "I love you" increases intimacy in your marriage. "I love you because you're so unselfish …"

2. Reintroduce the element of surprise.
Identify patterns and break routines. Become unpredictable. Celebrate anything and everything. Buy the unexpected present. Take an unplanned trip.

3. Strive to out-please each other.
Out-pleasing each other means putting your spouse's happiness first—especially in the mundane moments of life. When he washes the dishes, respond by keeping the kids out of his hair while he's watching the football game. But …

4. Don't keep score.
Marriage breaks down when you constantly compare your sacrifices to your mate's. Concentrate on your giving and you will become one.

By Jim Magruder

11 Easy (and Free!*) Ways to Say "I Love You"

To strengthen unions, marriage experts advise couples to "make weekly dates" or "go away on a couple's weekend." Those are great ideas, but let's be realistic: how often can busy couples expect to drop everything and get away? These 11 quick and simple ways to express love let busy couples rekindle romance among the chaos of everyday life.

1. Embrace your past. Assemble a scrapbook together, pull out your wedding video, or write your own personal romance story. Reliving special memories together is a great way to strengthen your bond.

2. Be kids together. Have a pillow fight, challenge each other to a game of hopscotch, or cuddle on the couch and laugh as you watch cartoons.

3. Wrap your mate in love. While your sweetie showers, sneak his towel into the dryer, and as he steps out, wrap him in fluffy warmth. Or use the same idea to warm her feet when she snuggles in bed on a chilly autumn night.

4. Speak the languages of love. Surprise your "amante" (Italian for "lover") with some international sweet talk. Access an exhaustive list of ways to say "I love you" in different languages at www.electpress.com/loveandromance/iloveyou.htm.

5. Write love notes to each other. Spell it out in his oatmeal with raisins, on her dashboard with yarn, or use lipstick on your bathroom mirror. Compose your own poem, borrow a verse from Song of Songs, or just write "I love you."

6. Turn on the charm. Who says you have to stop flirting once you're married? At your next party, wink at him across a crowded room, or slip your arm around her as you make social small talk. That personal connection amid the crowd is like saying, "This is great, but I'd rather be with you!"

7. Connect online. E-mail your spouse throughout the day, just to say you're thinking of him.

8. Remember the little things. When you step in to help with the day-to-day "drudge" chores—making dinner, bathing the kids—your spouse knows she's appreciated and loved. And completing a chore for your sweetie frees more time and energy for the two of you to enjoy other activities together.

9. Send it snail mail. Take time to write an encouraging note, slap a stamp on it, and mail it. Your spouse will love the surprise—especially since it won't be a credit card bill or junk mail!

10. Celebrate everything. Most couples celebrate the anniversary of their marriage or first date, but how about the anniversary of your engagement, or first kiss? (If you don't remember, make it up!) There have been all kinds of milestones throughout your relationship, so mark each one with flowers, a card, or a romantic interlude.

11. Just say it. Your spouse needs to hear those three simple words daily. Whisper it, sing it, shout it. Say it.

* or almost free!
By Beverly Dillard

Children of Divorced Families

In the highly acclaimed report, The Effects of Divorce on America, Patrick Fagan and Robert Rector point out that “a child living with a single mother is 14 times more likely to suffer serious physical abuse than those in two-parent families, twice as likely to drop out of school, three times as likely to get pregnant as a teenager, and far more likely to commit suicide.” Katherine Kersten puts it on the line when she writes, “What is the No. 1 public health threat to American children? . . . The greatest health threat to American children is none of these. It is something we, as parents, bring on our children ourselves: divorce.”

Children of Divorced Families are:
 Twice as likely to drop out of high school.
 Twice as likely to have a child before age twenty.
 One-and-a-half times as likely to be idle—out of school and out of work—in their late twenties.
 Have lowered academic performance
 Are four times as likely to be suspended or expelled from school.
 Experience “anger, fear, sadness, worry, rejection, conflicting loyalties, lowered self-confidence, heightened anxiety, loneliness, more depressed moods, and more suicidal thoughts.
 Have negative long-term effects in income, health and behavior, even thirty years after the divorce.

From God on Sex by Daniel Aikin.

Divorce is terrible for kids... fight for your marriage!

Marriage and Love... What did you expect!

A biblical view of marriage = a flawed person + a flawed person + a fallen world + a faithful God!



True pure perseverant biblical love is not formed out of duty, it is formed out of gratitude (to God).



Thanks for Justin Taylor for sharing this.

Ways to Spice Up Your Intimacy

Here are 20 Ways To Spice Up Your Intimacy By Jill Savage. If you read these and can think of more, please post your comments and I will add them to the overall list.

1. Turn on the electric blanket or heated mattress pad 30 minutes before your spouse heads to bed.
2. Empty the dishwasher or do the dishes without being asked.
3. Make coffee or tea in the morning and take it to the bathroom while your spouse is getting ready.
4. Unload the groceries and put them away—especially if your spouse went to the store alone.
5. Open her car door.
6. Make his favorite dessert.
7. Surprise your spouse by cleaning and vacuuming their car.
8. While your spouse is in the shower, throw a towel in the dryer, then place the heated towel where they can reach it.
9. Take the children for a couple hours and give her some time alone.
10. Put your arm around her in church.
11. Rub your spouse's back.
12. Buy your spouse's favorite candy bar or magazine when you stop to fill your gas tank.
13. Show excitement about doing something your spouse wants to do.
14. Warm/cool the car and scrape the windows after a frost or snow/heat.
15. Tell your friends—and family!—how smart your spouse is.
16. Fill your spouse's car with gas when you drive it.
17. Invite her to cuddle while watching television.
18. Take off a half-day just for the two of you.
19. Fold and put away the laundry.
20. Pray a blessing over your spouse—then tell them what you prayed for.
21. Write a note to your spouse and hide it for them to find later.

Today in 1521: Diet of Worms

In April 1521, Luther appeared before Emperor Chrales V to defend what he had taught and written (95 Theses and other works).



Unless I am convinced by the testimony of the Holy Scriptures or by evident reason-for I can believe neither pope nor councils alone, as it is clear that they have erred repeatedly and contradicted themselves-I consider myself convicted by the testimony of Holy Scripture, which is my basis; my conscience is captive to the Word of God. Thus I cannot and will not recant, because acting against one's conscience is neither safe nor sound. God help me. Amen.

At the end of his speech, the story goes, he spoke the famous words, "Here I stand; I can do no other. God help me."

Man Up by Mark Driscoll

Mark Driscoll on men acting like little boy's:

Good Friday

LifeChurch.tv Is Smarter Than Everyone Else

Brilliant would be the only word to describe Craig Groeschel and his team at LifeChurch.tv. A la the presidential debate on CNN, they will be integrating Facebook into all of their 11 services this weekend for Easter Sunday. While some have reservations about online church, it is impossible to argue a method of being all things to all people in hopes to, engage and intersect people “where they are at” online.


Jess from my church has talked about using a similar idea for real-time questions and interaction, but LifeChurch.tv is making it happen, and doing so on the grandest Sunday of them all. Kudos to Groeschel!

Online Accountability

The Internet can be/is a very dangerous place to roam. At the click of a mouse images can pop onto your screen and into your mind. Struggles can commence and send you spiralling into addiction that could a lifetime to undo. In order to prevent such tragedies and hardship from occurring, I would recommend that every person/home/church install bSafe online onto their computer. Bsafe is without question the best Internet protection software available. I used to recommend Covenant Eyes (and still do for Macs), but prefer bSafe online due to the proactive strategy that program uses to make it near impossible for one to view illicit images.

Bsafe has 36 Category Flexibility allows you to choose which categories (gambling, shopping, R-rated, alcohol, shopping, etc.) to allow or restrict access. They also included a Time-of-Day feature, which allows you to control Internet activities for specific times of day. This option will allow you to make informed decisions regarding your online access. A Tamper-Proof Reporting Option – Detailed reports show the time when the Internet was accessed, good sites visited, and sites that were blocked – is also included.

This program is so good, that it will often challenge you to rethink the websites you look at, as you will most likely have to unblock some websites you never think of as potentially dangerous (Facebook, some Blogs, Twitter, etc.). In spite of this, bSafe online is worth the frustrations that come when initially installed. The cost of the program is typically $49.99 a year, but with a Focus on the Family special, you can purchase the program 30% off ($34.97). Again, if you currently do not have any Internet filtering software, quit being stupid and protect yourself and your family.

Live On Mission (pt. 2)

In church lingo we have the term CEO, but it does not Chief Executive Operator, it is a term that refers to those many people who only tend to come to church at Christmas and Easter. Easter is just around the corner, and we need to make sure we are inviting people to come to church so they can hear the Good News of Jesus Christ. Pastors everywhere need to be sure to share the story of how God loved us that whosoever believes in Him can have everlasting life. People need to come to a place where they decide to accept or reject and God that loves them limitlessly. If you are a follower of Christ, may you use Easter as an opportunity to share the true passion of Christ.

Disclaimer: I do not believe that the church is the only place where people should hear the Gospel. Each person who bears the name of Christ(ian) has been charged with the task of living to share Jesus on purpose. However, we also know that when Jesus if lifted up, He will draw men unto Himself so again, use Easter and its unique influence to invite people to church where they can hear how God much God loves them!

(The graph is can be found on edstetzer.com).

Don't Impose Your Faith, Propose A Relationship

Mark Driscoll provides a great example about how we can share our faith and have the mind/action/mission of Christ in a practical way. This is helpful and beneficial for anyone who cares to make a difference for Jesus. "Not imposing anything, proposing relationship."

My New Golf Dream

We all have dreams and aspirations, things we would like to do one day… I just added one to my list: Play a round of golf at the Legends Golf & Safari Resort in South Africa. It is an amazing stretch of 18 holes designed by 18 different top-flight golfers, including Padraig Harrington, Colin Montgomerie, K.J. Choi, Retief Goosen, Justin Rose, Trevor Immelman and Vijay Singh. And I'm sure each one of those 18 holes is a perfect mini-masterpiece of challenge and reward. Along with, apparently, a lion or two along the way, if we're to believe the brochures.

This course also has an Extreme 19th hole: Set high up on the impressive Hanglip Mountain and accessible only by helicopter, this par 3 hole is played from a vertical height of 430 metres. After a short, breathtaking helicopter flight, golfers have the opportunity of teeing off from one of three tee boxes, high up on the escarpment. With advanced technology in the form of four separate cameras and the latest tracking equipment, the golfer can follow and capture the tee shot and the flight of the ball.

The fairway is seeded with Cynodon grass and contoured to funnel the ball to the green below. In celebration of the African Renaissance, the green has been shaped like the map of Africa and is protected by a large waste bunker.

Golfers can choose to play this challenging hole in addition to their round of 18 holes, or as an experience on its own. A hole-in-one earns the lucky golfer one million US dollars!. Conceived by Graham Cooke of the UK, embraced by CEO, Peet Cilliers, and designed by David Riddle, the Extreme 19 is truly unique - an unforgettable golfing experience!



Awesome… I cannot wait to play there!

(This golf course was brought to my attention by yahoo sports)

5 Things Church Workers Should Never Say

1. “That’s Not My Responsibility”This comment may cause team members to feel as though they’ve covered themselves, but the guest doesn’t care who is responsible. The guest merely wants the question answered or the request filled. The risk of dropping the ball increases each time a request, question or need is passed on to another person.

2. “I Don’t Know.”If a team member doesn’t have an answer, he or she must be resourceful enough to find it. It’s OK not to know an answer; it’s not OK to leave it there. The team member must take the initiative to find the answer. “I don’t know” must always be followed up with “but I’ll find out.”

3. “No.”Yeah, but sometimes the answer is “no.” Why would we not say “no” if the answer to a question is “no”? Simply because, when you’re the guest, you expect the answer to be “yes.” You want to be satisfied. When you hear “no” without an alternative or an explanation, you’re unsatisfied.

4. “They,” “Them,” and “You Guys” Everyone wants to appear competent. When we don’t have the answers or the rule is difficult to explain, the temptation to blame someone else is tremendous. It can be difficult for people to recognize this temptation in themselves. But when the team member says, “They said” or “It’s up to them” or “You guys had better,” he or she is communicating a lack of ownership. When guests overhear this language or pick up on this attitude, they doubt the church itself.

5. “I’m Just A Volunteer.”I always ask sales associates or clerks, “How are you?” It’s amazing how many times they respond, “I’ll be doin’ much better when I can leave this place! Only two more hours to go.” Too many people are unhappy working day after day in the same, grueling job. That should
never happen in the church. Those who plug in to a ministry should do because they fully embrace its mission and vision. If they do, no one will ever hear these words from them.

by Mark Waltz

Marriage Stimulus Package

The Marriage Stimulus Package is an unprecedented effort to jumpstart our families, to save marriages, and address long-neglected challenges so our church can thrive in the 21st century. This is an extraordinary response to a crisis unlike any other. With much at stake, the Package provides for unprecedented levels of transparency and accountability so that you will be able to know how, when, and where to connect to God and others. Be our guest at Frist Baptist Jenks March 29-May 3 for this great opportunity.

What If Starbucks Marketed Like A Church?

From Richard Reising: A few years ago, I was sitting in my local Starbucks and happened to overhear a group training session for new employees. And it was awesome! The employees were being trained on the atmosphere and experience that they were hired to create. The mission statement was given clearly through examples, so everyone could grasp it. The meeting was visionary. I was just about ready to fill out an employment application! The people holding the training had a picture of how the employees were to treat each other and the leadership, but the tone was not focused on what the workers wanted to get out of the job. Instead, the training was centered around the experience they were to provide for each other and in turn, the customers. They were taught to be relational with frequent guests and sensitive to those who might not even know what a latte is…

I hesitated posting this as I am not really sure what to think of all the parity, but it is making me think. My hope is you might have some comments on this too. Let me know your thoughts.

Live On Mission

Many people have a tendency to underestimate the power of their influence. Many Christians fail to think of the influence they have and how God can use that to draw people unto himself. In my time, I have learned that God places us in our jobs, not to draw a paycheck, but to draw people to Him through us. He places us in our community, to show the power of true community focused on serving others. He even puts us in our families to share Jesus to those in our family who do not know Him. Here is a graph that shows we should never underestimate our influence (courtesy of edstetzer.com).

11th Hour Salvation

Hughie Jones passed away March 22, 2009. He spent all but 9 days of his life refusing to talk about Jesus or hear what anyone had to say about Him. However, on March 13, 2009 all of that changed and he was washed clean by the blood of Jesus. Lying on what was to be his deathbed, after hearing the Gospel, Hughie talked to God and said, “Jesus Save Me.” Before he made that decision he listened about how Jesus loved him beyond measure and that there was nothing he could do to ever be too bad for God not to love him.

It is my opinion that he believed God loved him from the simple fact that his family loved him. Despite anything he had done, his daughter (Rachel, my mother-in-law) was constantly there for him. He knew his family loved him, which was proven by the visits made over the years, especially those made in his last days.

Another key component of Hughie being able to receive the free gift of God by calling upon the name of the Lord was his identifying with other who made decisions far worse than his. Hearing of Abraham, David, and Saul/Paul, he realized that salvation was open to all… a fact of Scripture that should bless our souls beyond belief.

In preparing for his funeral, God brought me to a portion of Scripture that demonstrates the matter of rewards is under the sovereign control of God. God is the One before whom all accounts will be settled, and he can distribute His grace whenever and to whomever he wants! Here is the passage, Matthew 20:1-16:

1"For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. 2He agreed to pay them a denarius for the day and sent them into his vineyard. 3"About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. 4He told them, 'You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.' 5So they went. "He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. 6About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, 'Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?' 7" 'Because no one has hired us,' they answered. "He said to them, 'You also go and work in my vineyard.' 8"When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, 'Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.' 9"The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. 10So when those came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. 11When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. 12'These men who were hired last worked only one hour,' they said, 'and you have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.' 13"But he answered one of them, 'Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarius? 14Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. 15Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?' 16"So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

The New Urkel

Here is the new Steve Urkel (from the TV series Family Matters from 1989 to 1998):

Does it Pay to Haggle?

Today there was an article on USAToday.com that talked about haggling with retailers over prices. This is something that is common is other parts of the world, but I have never even thought about doing it in a department store here in the states (outside of a car dealership). In Greece, Africa, & Mexico it was pretty easy to get 40-50% off what the stores would ask for, but what about here? Has anyone tried this at Lowes, Home Depot, Best Buy, Wal-Mart, or Sam’s? Does this actually work? Please let me know what you have done or have heard of.