2.
Mexico
– Christy & I went on a cruise stopping in Prgoresso (swimming in cenotes
and snorkeling & dunbuggying in Cozumel
3.
Chloe
is Reading and her team Repeated as champions in her basketball league
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Monday, December 31, 2012
2012 in Review
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Kanas City Family Mission Trip
August 1-4 our church went to Kansas City for a Family Mission Trip. Christy & I decided that we would take all of our children with us, including Clay who is only 19 months old. I wasn’t nervous about taking the kids for the afternoon and evening activities (we rested in the afternoon and put on a VBS for FBC Platte City, MO in the evenings), but we both had some concern for how they would do in the morning.
We worked with a ministry called Hillcrest Transitional
Housing, which assist homeless families get back onto their feet and off of the
streets. We painted, cleaned, pulled weeds, worked on a playground, and even
built a brand new playground set. To our delight, all of our kids did great.
Chloe (6) was a true helper and go getter. Coleman worked hard, wanted to
paint, and brought the adults (along with his big sister) water. Clay even got
in on the act, picking up stuff to throw away (rocks included) and wanting to
paint! It was a phenomenal trip for all of us.
In addition to my family, we had 11 other families go to. It
was really great to see how well everyone worked together, and how hard they
all worked individually. FBC Platte City were great hosts. Hillcrest gave us
plenty of work to do. We saw over 25 children pray to receive Christ, and we
left feeling as though God had used us in a great way.
For anyone thinking about taking your family on a mission
trip, let me say that you should definitely do it!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Rules of Dinner
1. Everyone Eats Together2. The Dinner Table is a Safe Place
3. No Distractions
4. Say Please and Thank You
5. Sit Facing the Table (her rule is All Four on the Floor, one I always break)
6. Try a Bit of Everything
7. Use an Inside Voice
8. Play High and Low (points of the day)
9. Only Compliments to the Chef
10. Everyone Helps Clean Up
Rules of Dinner can be found here by a lady named Jenny.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Staying In Love - Promo
This Sunday we are starting Staying In Love at First Baptist Jenks. I am really excited to see how this goes and what God does through the marriages in our church. In my opinion, there is not a better communicator than Andy Stanley and I am sure this will be great! Here is a promo video about the series:
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Relocation Highlight
Recently, our church underwent a complete relocation. My favorite part of the new building is the entrance. When you walk in, you see a picture of "Jesus Loves You!" in the form of Him embracing children. It demonstrates our focus on families, children, and the mission of Jesus at First Baptist Jenks. Recently, the company that we used for our artwork focused on the work. Here is a highlight of it:
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Book Review: Choosing To Cheat by Andy Stanley
Choosing To Cheat is not what it sounds like initially, it is about “who wins when family and work collide.” Throughout the book, Andy Stanley tackles the number one challenge in my life, which is also the greatest challenge in most men’s life: balancing our work-life and home-life, career and family, professional verse parental/spousal. The beauty of this book is that he does not merely address the issue, he gives easy to follow advice for how to deal with these steps.
While there are many helpful points, some are found is addressing the balance between work and family before it spirals out of control. Chapter Four (Picking Up The Pieces) provides a healthy barometer along with quality questions to ask your children to gauge how you are truly doing with your family.
Section 2 is the practical part of the book that provides a roadmap for how to make family your family your top priority. Through the life and dedication of Daniel, Stanley provides 3 simple steps to follow: Make up your mind, come up with a plan, and set up a trial. For me, chapter seven was the most helpful chapter. One of my favorite quotes came from that chapter on page 86, “Reprioritizing your world around your family is not just a good idea. It is a God idea. As a Christian, I don’t think I have any option when it comes to establishing my priorities.”
My reason for purchasing this book and reading it is a direct result of listening to Andy Stanley give the Pastors’ Q & A at his Drive 2010 Conference last week. He said this book was the most important one he has ever written. After completing it, I think he is correct. The only real critique I have of it is what he addresses as the book’s main problem in the introduction, the book’s title. Once he sets up the idea it does make sense, because every man is going to cheat on his job (for his family) or cheat on his family (for his job).
To be clear, I would recommend every father and husband take a couple hours to read this book, then spend your life altering it to do be the man at home only you can be!
Related Post: Family-Ministry Balance
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
4 Constants in Family Bible Study by Mark Driscoll
From Mark Driscoll: I’m not a hugely formal student. I study a lot, read all the time, and in our family, things flex from week to week, season to season, and as the kids age. Upon reflection, though, four things are constant:
1.Lots of Bibles
We have tons of Bibles all over the house. We have Bibles for every age, lots of translations, and lots of formats. To be honest, if a member of my family finds a Bible they like that is faithful, I am not at all legalistic about which one they prefer. Most days, every room of the house has a Bible of some kind in it, ready to read.
2.A love of Bible reading
I love to read the Bible and want my family to love reading in general, and Bible reading in particular. It’s not a forced rule, but a fun part of life. Everyone in our family likes to read the Bible and does so daily. I’ve never made a rule about daily Bible reading, but we all do as a habit that we enjoy by God’s grace. We all read Scripture and pray at night before bed as a sort of wind-down wrap-up to the day and the kids like it a lot.
3.Life integration
Throughout the daily moments of life, the window of opportunity opens up to sit down with Grace and the kids, either one on one or as a group, to open the Bible and apply a particular portion to something happening in their life. As a parent and a spouse, it is a great honor to be on watch, appointed by God to capture these sacred moments of bringing Scripture to bear on a teachable moment.
4.Age-appropriate discussion We eat dinner together and have a Bible at the table that I use to lead discussions. We also keep a notebook of prayers for people and the kids really like seeing prayers answered and checked off. Some nights the family gets down some rabbit trail of conversation that is not overtly theological, and as a dad I don’t force a big theological discussion upon them, but rather follow the Holy Spirit as we just enjoy one another. Other nights we have some big theological discussions that I lead out of the Bible. After church on Sundays, since I’m still working, Grace is faithful to ask the kids what they learned in the service or their class and draw out of them what God revealed to them from Scripture. Anyone wanting to grow in this skill can read Big Truths for Young Hearts by Bruce Ware, in which he shows how to teach theology to kids in an age-appropriate fashion.
With our children (ages four to twelve), Bible reading really varies, but here is what is going on presently in our home:
Gideon (4) gets read a lot of Bible stories (especially at night) and asked fun Bible questions that I probably need to compile as a free e-book. I’ve done this with all the kids over the years as a sort of Bible Jeopardy for kids. He likes The Jesus Storybook Bible, The Beginner’s Bible, and The First Step Bible.
Alexie (6) is reading well so she reads to her mom and me from an age-appropriate Bible every day. No matter what, this includes snuggle time before bed, which is a big deal to her. She likes The Jesus Storybook Bible, as well as reading on her own from The Beginner’s Bible, and The First Step Bible.
Calvin (8) is reading well and has a good Bible for his age that he reads each day, and we discuss with him what he’s learning. He is enjoying Mighty Acts of God by Starr Meade, which is an age-appropriate book for him to read. Previously he read through The Jesus Storybook Bible on his own multiple times, and now he needs something a bit more suited for his reading level, so we’re trying other additional Bibles to give him some variety.
Zac (10) is reading through the New Testament right now in the New International Reader’s Version (NIrV), an age-appropriate version for him. He also is reading for fun from The Picture Bible, which is set up like a comic book. He also enjoys books such as Ten Boys Who Changed the World and Ten Boys Who Didn’t Give In, which are short biographies.
Ashley (12) read through the entire English Standard Version (ESV) of the Bible last year and is reading through the entire ESV Study Bible, including the notes, this year and so far has finished up the Pentateuch (first five books). She is an avid reader who reads a lot of fiction for fun, loves Christian biographies, and also has chosen to read through my new book Doctrine and write a report on it for school, which means the world to me. She keeps joking that one day she will be my research assistant and copy editor, as she’s a very gifted writer and we may have her start blogging for teenage girls and are praying it through.
Momma Grace and I are constantly reading and, it seems nearly every day, discussing what we are learning. Date nights and other extended times together are usually spent talking about people we are ministering to, the kids, and what we are reading and learning. This is pretty much a lifestyle for us that has been in effect for many years. We study very differently and so it works best for us each to study individually and then share together what we’re learning and discuss it. The Bible studies that had the biggest impact on Grace personally were on repentance and regeneration. She also loves the biblical counseling that comes from www.ccef.org, enjoys Carolyn Mahaney and has particularly enjoyed doing her Girl Talk study with Ashley, which is great for moms and daughters.
Lastly, I highly value reading. When I was a little boy, my mom took me to the library very often and helped birth in me a great love of books and learning. So, in our home we each have our own library. Every bedroom has a bookshelf with a small library for each family member. We have a small family reference library downstairs off the reading room, where there is good lighting, comfy seating, and a fireplace, and no technology resides (e.g., TV, computer, stereo). That family reference library has commentaries, Bible dictionaries, concordances, Bible background information, and so on to help anyone get basic Bible study done. My rule about books is that if it’s decent and you’ll read it, I will buy it. My personal library is pushing five thousand volumes in print and many more than that in Logos Software and other digital formats. The other members of my family have maybe a combined thousand or more books. It has taken years to collect them all, and many come from friends who donated them or used book stores, but, bit by bit, you can build a decent library and continue to encourage reading by making it interesting with lots of options and fun
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Romance Factor
The Romance Factor
Use all five senses to connect with your spouse.
Remember when you and your spouse were dating? When dinner was consumed to the strains of soft music instead of to Sponge Bob? In the day-to-day busyness of married life, romance is often the first thing to go. Yet the “Romance Factor” can have a high impact on the success of your marriage.
The Romance Factor encompasses much more than just sex. It invokes the five senses: sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch. It’s the emotional, spiritual, and physical connection between a husband and wife.
In my work as a romantic events planner and consultant, I discuss romantic preferences with a lot of husbands and wives. You might be surprised to hear that many men enjoy romance just as much as women!
Yet, many marriages neglect the Romance Factor. We’re so busy with our children, houses, jobs, and church obligations, that we forget to reserve time just for our spouse. After a long day, we collapse into bed, exhausted. No time—or energy—for romance.
But with a little effort, romance can become second nature. While planning ahead is great, so is a spontaneous romantic evening. Try the following techniques, and see if you don’t find yourself spending an unforgettable evening with the one you love.
The Sight of Romance
Start by making your bedroom a romantic sanctuary, where you can shut out the world and enter a paradise created for two. Sight plays a significant part in everyday life, so just imagine how important it is to romance. Many are attracted by the sight of their intended before they actually speak to them. So make your sanctuary a sight to behold.
You can do this by making just a few minor adjustments to the room. First, clear the clutter. If your bedroom is like most, it may have become a catchall for clothes, papers, books, and toys. Once you’ve achieved a clean room, change the lighting by adding candles—the more, the better. Choosing lower wattage light bulbs will give you a similar effect. The soft glow of candlelight will enhance the appearance of even the most ordinary room.
Next, spruce up the room with flowers and rose petals. Don’t worry about creating a mess; concentrate on creating an oasis. Be careful not to overdo the flowers, though, since their fragrance can be overpowering. You may opt for artificial or silk flowers as a resourceful substitute.
You may even consider a few decorating tricks to enhance the bed. Drape sheer, richly colored fabrics across your headboard, over your window treatments, or hang them from the ceiling (with hooks from your local hardware store). You’re going for exotic here, so the sky’s the limit. Imagination plays a large part in how appealing your romantic oasis will be.
The Smell of Romance
Scent is an important component in the art of romance. Smell can be an excellent inlet to passion; it stimulates areas in the brain that affect the way we feel and react. Just think of the way you respond when you smell fresh bread baking. The aroma causes your taste buds to swell, your mouth to water, and your mind to wonder. Scent is a powerful instrument.
Aromatherapy is making quite an impact these days. Experiment with different fragrances to find which ones work best with you and your mate.
Some I’ve found to be particularly effective are vanilla, coconut, chocolate, lavender, and jasmine. Scented candles are excellent for stimulating two senses instead of one: sight and smell. Check out some of the aromatherapy stores in your area.
The Sound of Romance
Sound can mean music playing softly or the way you whisper your spouse’s name. Speaking in low sexy tones is a definite turn-on for many men. The soft sound of a woman’s voice in its natural God-given state can melt the strongest man’s heart.
The music you choose is just as important. Whether it’s soothing jazz or your favorite oldies but goodies, make it something you both enjoy. Music melts away the day’s stresses and struggles. And music can also be the catalyst to another technique, touch. Music sets the stage for dancing, if your sanctuary is large enough. If not, just listening with your love can be stimulating.
The Taste of Romance
My grandmother used to say the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Boy, is that true. Sometimes nothing inspires a man more than a mouthwatering meal and sweet treats. Prepare a simple yet elegant meal for two or a tray of delectable mini desserts. Experiment with tropical, exotic tastes and don’t forget the dark chocolate, which is said to be an effective aphrodisiac.
You don’t have to be Betty Crocker in the kitchen. Many grocery stores have freshly prepared meals in the deli section. Even those chocolate-covered strawberries are readily available in the produce section. Your favorite restaurant is also a good place to provide meals on the go.
The Touch of Romance
This is the last and definitely the most powerful element in the Romance Factor. The bond of physical contact is one of God’s most enduring senses. In the beginning of life, the touch of a mother to her newborn begins the human need for touch. We’re created to crave this on a daily basis. A hug, a caress, or a kiss arouse the tiny blood vessels located just beneath the skin in our bodies. In a marriage, touch forms a connection between husband and wife. One way to use touch is through the art of massage. Try taking a massage class together or get a book on proper massage techniques. This will teach you about pressure points and areas of concentration for a romantic, relaxing evening.
Caution!There’s one important prerequisite to using the Romance Factor techniques: communication. Communicate honestly with your spouse to learn his or her wants and needs. Just ask. Sometimes, too, a little experimentation will reveal what each of you likes or dislikes. Then let the Romance Factor take your breath away.
By Twanda R. Smith, for the study, “What’s Romance Got to Do With It?”
Use all five senses to connect with your spouse.
Remember when you and your spouse were dating? When dinner was consumed to the strains of soft music instead of to Sponge Bob? In the day-to-day busyness of married life, romance is often the first thing to go. Yet the “Romance Factor” can have a high impact on the success of your marriage.
The Romance Factor encompasses much more than just sex. It invokes the five senses: sight, smell, sound, taste, and touch. It’s the emotional, spiritual, and physical connection between a husband and wife.
In my work as a romantic events planner and consultant, I discuss romantic preferences with a lot of husbands and wives. You might be surprised to hear that many men enjoy romance just as much as women!
Yet, many marriages neglect the Romance Factor. We’re so busy with our children, houses, jobs, and church obligations, that we forget to reserve time just for our spouse. After a long day, we collapse into bed, exhausted. No time—or energy—for romance.
But with a little effort, romance can become second nature. While planning ahead is great, so is a spontaneous romantic evening. Try the following techniques, and see if you don’t find yourself spending an unforgettable evening with the one you love.
The Sight of Romance
Start by making your bedroom a romantic sanctuary, where you can shut out the world and enter a paradise created for two. Sight plays a significant part in everyday life, so just imagine how important it is to romance. Many are attracted by the sight of their intended before they actually speak to them. So make your sanctuary a sight to behold.
You can do this by making just a few minor adjustments to the room. First, clear the clutter. If your bedroom is like most, it may have become a catchall for clothes, papers, books, and toys. Once you’ve achieved a clean room, change the lighting by adding candles—the more, the better. Choosing lower wattage light bulbs will give you a similar effect. The soft glow of candlelight will enhance the appearance of even the most ordinary room.
Next, spruce up the room with flowers and rose petals. Don’t worry about creating a mess; concentrate on creating an oasis. Be careful not to overdo the flowers, though, since their fragrance can be overpowering. You may opt for artificial or silk flowers as a resourceful substitute.
You may even consider a few decorating tricks to enhance the bed. Drape sheer, richly colored fabrics across your headboard, over your window treatments, or hang them from the ceiling (with hooks from your local hardware store). You’re going for exotic here, so the sky’s the limit. Imagination plays a large part in how appealing your romantic oasis will be.
The Smell of Romance
Scent is an important component in the art of romance. Smell can be an excellent inlet to passion; it stimulates areas in the brain that affect the way we feel and react. Just think of the way you respond when you smell fresh bread baking. The aroma causes your taste buds to swell, your mouth to water, and your mind to wonder. Scent is a powerful instrument.
Aromatherapy is making quite an impact these days. Experiment with different fragrances to find which ones work best with you and your mate.
Some I’ve found to be particularly effective are vanilla, coconut, chocolate, lavender, and jasmine. Scented candles are excellent for stimulating two senses instead of one: sight and smell. Check out some of the aromatherapy stores in your area.
The Sound of Romance
Sound can mean music playing softly or the way you whisper your spouse’s name. Speaking in low sexy tones is a definite turn-on for many men. The soft sound of a woman’s voice in its natural God-given state can melt the strongest man’s heart.
The music you choose is just as important. Whether it’s soothing jazz or your favorite oldies but goodies, make it something you both enjoy. Music melts away the day’s stresses and struggles. And music can also be the catalyst to another technique, touch. Music sets the stage for dancing, if your sanctuary is large enough. If not, just listening with your love can be stimulating.
The Taste of Romance
My grandmother used to say the best way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Boy, is that true. Sometimes nothing inspires a man more than a mouthwatering meal and sweet treats. Prepare a simple yet elegant meal for two or a tray of delectable mini desserts. Experiment with tropical, exotic tastes and don’t forget the dark chocolate, which is said to be an effective aphrodisiac.
You don’t have to be Betty Crocker in the kitchen. Many grocery stores have freshly prepared meals in the deli section. Even those chocolate-covered strawberries are readily available in the produce section. Your favorite restaurant is also a good place to provide meals on the go.
The Touch of Romance
This is the last and definitely the most powerful element in the Romance Factor. The bond of physical contact is one of God’s most enduring senses. In the beginning of life, the touch of a mother to her newborn begins the human need for touch. We’re created to crave this on a daily basis. A hug, a caress, or a kiss arouse the tiny blood vessels located just beneath the skin in our bodies. In a marriage, touch forms a connection between husband and wife. One way to use touch is through the art of massage. Try taking a massage class together or get a book on proper massage techniques. This will teach you about pressure points and areas of concentration for a romantic, relaxing evening.
Caution!There’s one important prerequisite to using the Romance Factor techniques: communication. Communicate honestly with your spouse to learn his or her wants and needs. Just ask. Sometimes, too, a little experimentation will reveal what each of you likes or dislikes. Then let the Romance Factor take your breath away.
By Twanda R. Smith, for the study, “What’s Romance Got to Do With It?”
Saturday, January 9, 2010
I Don’t Understand Parents Today
I don’t understand parents today, that’s right, I don’t understand parents today. Usually you hear stuff from my generation and beyond talking about how they don’t understand kids today. The age of entitlement has created kids who think the world owes them something, they live as though their parents are in debt to them for having them in the first place. That probably has not changed much in the past 20-30 years, what has changed is the parent’s response to their children.
If I would have entered into a conversation with my parents telling them how it was going to be, it would have ended with my loosing the usage of my (errr… their) car, a loss of extracurricular activities, and a solid grounding in particular. When it came to church events, I did not have much choice either. On the Sundays I wanted to skip church, I was met with a father “motivating” me to go or else, which was good for me. When it came to me wanting to skip a major event, my parents put their foot down and I went anyways. When it came to working on Sundays, it was not an option, neither was missing church for sporting events.
At the time I thought it was unfair and that my parents were out of touch. I thought I knew what was best for me and resented my parents for making me go to church, D-Now, camp, or whatever else. However, because of their insistence of my attendance, I understood that God was to take the primary place above all else. You could say they raised me in the way I should go, and as a result, today I have not departed from it.
Today, parents allow their children to dictate to them what they are going to do and my observation is that parents are okay with it. I have heard children tell their parents that they do not want to attend a church event because they would rather be at home, and the parents oblige their children’s desires, as if children know what is best for themselves. I see some of our students take weekend jobs and their parents are okay with it. I even hear parents make excuses for their children as to why they will forgo camp, D-Now, or church, that’s right the parents make excuses for their children to skip out on God’s church.
What I am really curious about is how these parents would respond if their children decided they did not want to go to school anymore. Would they say that their kids preferred to be at home so it was okay, or would they get their kids dressed and march them out the door? If a child said they did not think school was fun or beneficial, would the parents go along with that notion, or would they force them to go anyway? And the real kicker is this, why do Christian parents think educational development is more vital than spiritual development? Seriously, if it is okay to make your child go to school how is it any different to make them go to church?
What gets me is that the same parents wonder why their kids seem to leave God and the church when they leave home. Do the parents not think that their approval of their children skipping out when they were at home will lead to a greater rebellion when they are off on their own? Do parents not think that devaluing church and God as young people, will lead to an abandonment of God altogether when they become adults? Are they clueless, ignorant, or just out of touch?
Like I said, I just do not understand parents today!
If I would have entered into a conversation with my parents telling them how it was going to be, it would have ended with my loosing the usage of my (errr… their) car, a loss of extracurricular activities, and a solid grounding in particular. When it came to church events, I did not have much choice either. On the Sundays I wanted to skip church, I was met with a father “motivating” me to go or else, which was good for me. When it came to me wanting to skip a major event, my parents put their foot down and I went anyways. When it came to working on Sundays, it was not an option, neither was missing church for sporting events.
At the time I thought it was unfair and that my parents were out of touch. I thought I knew what was best for me and resented my parents for making me go to church, D-Now, camp, or whatever else. However, because of their insistence of my attendance, I understood that God was to take the primary place above all else. You could say they raised me in the way I should go, and as a result, today I have not departed from it.
Today, parents allow their children to dictate to them what they are going to do and my observation is that parents are okay with it. I have heard children tell their parents that they do not want to attend a church event because they would rather be at home, and the parents oblige their children’s desires, as if children know what is best for themselves. I see some of our students take weekend jobs and their parents are okay with it. I even hear parents make excuses for their children as to why they will forgo camp, D-Now, or church, that’s right the parents make excuses for their children to skip out on God’s church.
What I am really curious about is how these parents would respond if their children decided they did not want to go to school anymore. Would they say that their kids preferred to be at home so it was okay, or would they get their kids dressed and march them out the door? If a child said they did not think school was fun or beneficial, would the parents go along with that notion, or would they force them to go anyway? And the real kicker is this, why do Christian parents think educational development is more vital than spiritual development? Seriously, if it is okay to make your child go to school how is it any different to make them go to church?
What gets me is that the same parents wonder why their kids seem to leave God and the church when they leave home. Do the parents not think that their approval of their children skipping out when they were at home will lead to a greater rebellion when they are off on their own? Do parents not think that devaluing church and God as young people, will lead to an abandonment of God altogether when they become adults? Are they clueless, ignorant, or just out of touch?
Like I said, I just do not understand parents today!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
4 Book Reviews
It: How Churches and Leaders Can Get It and Kee...
Craig Groeschel
Groeschel offers up practical information on what churches and leaders need to make a significant difference for God. While "IT" is not easily definable, it is simply more of Jesus and a heart abandoned for Christ. You may not be able to know what it is, but everyone will know if you do or do not have it! The founder of LifeChurch.tv (Edmond, OK), witnessed a powerful presence from God that he calls It at work in many churches. What is this transformational force? How can you and your ministry get—and keep—It? Combining in-your-face honesty with off-the-wall humor, this lively book tells how any believer can obtain It.
Holy Ambition: What it Take to Make a Difference for God.
Chip Ingram
Holy Ambition provides the reader with a practical guide on how to live and do great things with God. He is looking, desiring, wanting people to use, and if we seek to be useful for His Kingdom, we will be used! Each chapter is insightful and well thought through. My only critique would be that his final chapter seemed a bit lackluster.
Family Driven Faith: Doing What It Takes to Raise Sons and Daughters Who Walk with God
Voddie T. Baucham Jr.
Baucham is seen as anti-youth ministry, when he is in reality pro-family and pro-discipleship. His approach and view on church angers many, threatens most everyone, but should challenge all. Through the entirety of his work, Voddie places the utmost importance on the family as the setting for true biblical discipleship. Not only does he mention this, he gives practical guidance for family worship, reciting and study of catechisms, Bible study, and other methods of true family discipleship. While I agree that what we are currently doing in the church is not nearly as effective as it needs to be and that the family is the primary place for discipleship, I am not a fan of his fully integrated model. This is a really good book that should be read by any parent who falsely thinks it is the youth or children’s minister’s job to disciple their kids… Home is the Key!
The Necessity of Prayer
E. M. BoundsPrayer is the key to unlocking God power in our lives. Bounds is the master of communicating the role of prayer in every aspect of our lives as Christians. He is able to integrate Scripture and other examples to prove his point. This is a classic work on prayer... and free through the Logos iPhone ap.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
How to Avoid Fatal Attractions by Rick Warren
Pastor, it breaks my heart to see ministries ruined by unfaithfulness. Unchecked lust in the life of a pastor is incredibly destructive to the ministry of the Church. You and I are human. We're subject to the same temptations everyone else is. But sexual sins can be fatal to a ministry. Here are six actions to remember as you battle "fatal attractions."
1. Make a commitment to keep God's standards.
You've got to be willing to do what the Bible says. Psalm 119:9 (NIV) says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word." There are a lot of places you can look for values and standards to base your decisions on: self-help books, television, movies. But, pastor, if you don't want to fall victim to a fatal attraction, you must decide once and for all to make a commitment to keep God's standards revealed in his instruction manual, the Bible.It won't lead you wrong.
God says we're to enjoy sex within the context of marriage. Some people get confused on this point. They wonder why God restricts their freedom if he loves them. But as a parent, you wouldn't let your children do whatever they want. Why? We love our kids. We want to protect them. Our rules are for their good. God's rules are for our good, too. Decide today that you'll obey God's truth or none of the other steps will matter.
2. Maintain your marriage.
If you want a strong marriage, you've got to maintain it. You need to rekindle the romance. Proverbs 5:18-19 (TLB) says, "Rejoice in your wife. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight."
The Bible tells us to "rejoice" in our wife, and then "be satisfied." In other words, don't compare your spouse. There's no such thing as a perfect mate. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence; it's greener where you water it. The problem is in most married people have no spontaneity in their love life. There's boredom in the bedroom.
While you're married, you will be attracted to other people. But God says redirect that attraction toward your mate. Rejoice in your own mate.
3. Manage your mind.
You need to understand how temptation works. James 1:14-15 (TLB) says, "Temptation is the pull of our own evil thoughts and wishes. These...thoughts lead to evil actions." The battle starts in the mind. If Satan gets your attention, then he gets your feelings. If he gets your feelings, then he gets your actions. Some say, "I'd never do this. I'm just dreaming about it." Who are you kidding?
Thoughts determine feelings, and feelings determine actions. The key to avoiding sexual temptations is to control your thoughts. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Adultery starts in the head before it gets to the bed.
Lust isn't physical attraction. It isn't being aroused. That's just being human. You see a nice-looking person and you're attracted. Lust is the desire to possess. In other words, "If I could, I would." It's not the initial feelings and reactions. That's just part of humanity. God gave those instincts to you, but you must manage them.
4. Monitor your media intake.
We are in a sex-saturated society. We are bombarded by visual and verbal stimulation every moment of the day. In advertising, sex sells everything from bingo to batteries to bananas. Lust is big business. Most "love" songs are really lust songs. You pick up a magazine or a novel - and it's everywhere.
Studies have shown that the vast majority of sex on television is between people who aren't married. Every time you watch these escapades, your guard drops a bit. The Bible says that the eye is the gate to the soul. Matthew 6:22-23 (NIV) says, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness." What you see is what you become.
If you're serious about dealing with sexual temptations, you're going to have to give up about 80 percent of the movies that are out there today. Some of you are saying, "I can watch that stuff. It doesn't affect me." Don't believe it. 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT) says, "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts."
If you're sitting in a movie and realize you've made a mistake, get up and walk out. If you put in a DVD and realize it's not something you should watch, don't watch it. I've walked out of a lot of movies, changed the channel on a lot of TV shows, and returned a number of PG videos. If you're serious about dealing with this issue, you've got to monitor your media intake.
5. Minimize the opportunities for temptation.
If you want to avoid a fatal attraction, don't allow yourself to be in situations where it happens. Matthew 6:41 (GNB) says,"Keep watch, and pray so that you will not fall into temptation." Jesus gives two preventative measures in this verse: keep watch and pray.
"Keep watch" means be alert and wise. Know the situations that tempt you so you can stay away from them. Are you aware of what trips you up? One area that trips up many people today is that couples spend much less time together than ever before. With both men and women working, and both working long hours and traveling, our quality time - or quantity time - is lower than ever. If you typically struggle when you or your spouse is out of town, then maybe you need to limit the amount of time you are away from one another.
Maybe for you it's a certain set of friends that always lead you down the wrong path. It's simple. Stay away. Friends that lead you to lust after someone who is not your spouse aren't really friends.
6. Magnify the consequences.
You need to ask yourself, "Is this worth it?" Temptation is incredibly short-sighted. There are enormous consequences to breaking God's laws. Pastor, I'm sure you've heard the hurtful cries from spouses hurt by unfaithfulness. You should understand this. When we break God's laws, they break us. It always causes pain, bitterness, and masses of problems. It's just not worth it.
James 1:12 (NIV) says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I want one of those victor crowns someday. He's saying, "Deny the lesser to gain the greater."
I have only "known" one woman in my life - my wife. By the grace of God I intend to be faithful to her the rest of my life. Why? I love Jesus Christ, and I owe everything I have to him. To hurt him is unbearable. Second, I love my wife and kids. I cannot bear the thought of hurting them. But also, I fear the wrath of God. Unfaithfulness is a serious issue with God. The Bible says in Proverbs 16:6, "The man who fears the Lord shall avoid evil." That's a healthy fear. God does not let people get away with lust and unfaithfulness. Why? He loves us too much to let unfaithfulness destroy our relationship.
1. Make a commitment to keep God's standards.
You've got to be willing to do what the Bible says. Psalm 119:9 (NIV) says, "How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word." There are a lot of places you can look for values and standards to base your decisions on: self-help books, television, movies. But, pastor, if you don't want to fall victim to a fatal attraction, you must decide once and for all to make a commitment to keep God's standards revealed in his instruction manual, the Bible.It won't lead you wrong.
God says we're to enjoy sex within the context of marriage. Some people get confused on this point. They wonder why God restricts their freedom if he loves them. But as a parent, you wouldn't let your children do whatever they want. Why? We love our kids. We want to protect them. Our rules are for their good. God's rules are for our good, too. Decide today that you'll obey God's truth or none of the other steps will matter.
2. Maintain your marriage.
If you want a strong marriage, you've got to maintain it. You need to rekindle the romance. Proverbs 5:18-19 (TLB) says, "Rejoice in your wife. Let her charms and tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight."
The Bible tells us to "rejoice" in our wife, and then "be satisfied." In other words, don't compare your spouse. There's no such thing as a perfect mate. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence; it's greener where you water it. The problem is in most married people have no spontaneity in their love life. There's boredom in the bedroom.
While you're married, you will be attracted to other people. But God says redirect that attraction toward your mate. Rejoice in your own mate.
3. Manage your mind.
You need to understand how temptation works. James 1:14-15 (TLB) says, "Temptation is the pull of our own evil thoughts and wishes. These...thoughts lead to evil actions." The battle starts in the mind. If Satan gets your attention, then he gets your feelings. If he gets your feelings, then he gets your actions. Some say, "I'd never do this. I'm just dreaming about it." Who are you kidding?
Thoughts determine feelings, and feelings determine actions. The key to avoiding sexual temptations is to control your thoughts. Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, "Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Adultery starts in the head before it gets to the bed.
Lust isn't physical attraction. It isn't being aroused. That's just being human. You see a nice-looking person and you're attracted. Lust is the desire to possess. In other words, "If I could, I would." It's not the initial feelings and reactions. That's just part of humanity. God gave those instincts to you, but you must manage them.
4. Monitor your media intake.
We are in a sex-saturated society. We are bombarded by visual and verbal stimulation every moment of the day. In advertising, sex sells everything from bingo to batteries to bananas. Lust is big business. Most "love" songs are really lust songs. You pick up a magazine or a novel - and it's everywhere.
Studies have shown that the vast majority of sex on television is between people who aren't married. Every time you watch these escapades, your guard drops a bit. The Bible says that the eye is the gate to the soul. Matthew 6:22-23 (NIV) says, "The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness." What you see is what you become.
If you're serious about dealing with sexual temptations, you're going to have to give up about 80 percent of the movies that are out there today. Some of you are saying, "I can watch that stuff. It doesn't affect me." Don't believe it. 2 Timothy 2:22 (NLT) says, "Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts."
If you're sitting in a movie and realize you've made a mistake, get up and walk out. If you put in a DVD and realize it's not something you should watch, don't watch it. I've walked out of a lot of movies, changed the channel on a lot of TV shows, and returned a number of PG videos. If you're serious about dealing with this issue, you've got to monitor your media intake.
5. Minimize the opportunities for temptation.
If you want to avoid a fatal attraction, don't allow yourself to be in situations where it happens. Matthew 6:41 (GNB) says,"Keep watch, and pray so that you will not fall into temptation." Jesus gives two preventative measures in this verse: keep watch and pray.
"Keep watch" means be alert and wise. Know the situations that tempt you so you can stay away from them. Are you aware of what trips you up? One area that trips up many people today is that couples spend much less time together than ever before. With both men and women working, and both working long hours and traveling, our quality time - or quantity time - is lower than ever. If you typically struggle when you or your spouse is out of town, then maybe you need to limit the amount of time you are away from one another.
Maybe for you it's a certain set of friends that always lead you down the wrong path. It's simple. Stay away. Friends that lead you to lust after someone who is not your spouse aren't really friends.
6. Magnify the consequences.
You need to ask yourself, "Is this worth it?" Temptation is incredibly short-sighted. There are enormous consequences to breaking God's laws. Pastor, I'm sure you've heard the hurtful cries from spouses hurt by unfaithfulness. You should understand this. When we break God's laws, they break us. It always causes pain, bitterness, and masses of problems. It's just not worth it.
James 1:12 (NIV) says, "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I want one of those victor crowns someday. He's saying, "Deny the lesser to gain the greater."
I have only "known" one woman in my life - my wife. By the grace of God I intend to be faithful to her the rest of my life. Why? I love Jesus Christ, and I owe everything I have to him. To hurt him is unbearable. Second, I love my wife and kids. I cannot bear the thought of hurting them. But also, I fear the wrath of God. Unfaithfulness is a serious issue with God. The Bible says in Proverbs 16:6, "The man who fears the Lord shall avoid evil." That's a healthy fear. God does not let people get away with lust and unfaithfulness. Why? He loves us too much to let unfaithfulness destroy our relationship.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
We Gave Up On Life... and Bought a Minivan
Christy and I just made a huge life decision. One that will affect our lives forever, one that we will never be able to change, because it is done… we are just purchased a minivan. I will be honest, neither of us ever saw ourselves as minivan people, but then we had kids and we would like to have more, and it just makes sense… Yes, it makes sense... Seriously, quit laughing, it makes sense… and all it cost me was money and my man card.
We had a Honda Pilot, which we loved and never had a single problem with, but it was not as practical as we had hoped. Our original thought in purchasing the vehicle was that it would be a great family vehicle that we could use for years; after all it had 3 rows and could seat 8. The reality though was far from factual for a young family that requires car seats for our 2 kids under 4. In order for us to have more than 5 people in the vehicle at once we were forced to either have someone crawl over the middle row (because our kids need to be separated by the middle seat) or crawl through the rear door (which is just pathetic to watch/observe/do) or remove a child seat every time we got in our out of our vehicle (no chance that was going to happen).
Due to the Pilot not working out for us, Christy & I began looking at alternative vehicles.
We initially thought Tahoe or Suburban, but friends of ours commented on the difficulty they have getting their kids in and out of the BIG SUV *excuse*. I was also not a fan of the gas mileage they got, 10-16 on a good day *excuse*. We also looked at minivans, and we impressed by all the cup holders *joke*, ease of access with automatic doors, space, storage, and gas mileage. For those we have decided to purchase a minivan, that’s right a minivan.
We settled on a 2007 Honda Odyssey. Some people might say reason has won out in our decision, I say we have given up on life!!! Going with the practical over the cool, purchasing the logical car instead of the beast, giving up on life instead of clinging to something we lost a long time. So when you see the white flag flying over my head, you now know what happened… we purchased a minivan… or as we like to call it; we got a sweet new ride.
Here are some pictures of our new Honda I’m sure you will want to print off and hang on your bedroom walls as you fantasize about your dream vehicle:
Monday, September 21, 2009
Dallas Cowboys Staduim Grand Opening
Every once in a while you get to do something truly special. For me I had just an experience on September 20, 2009. My brother was able to obtain tickets to the opening game at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas, aka: Jerry’s World, the 8th Wonder of the World, or Heaven on Earth!
While the game and Tony Romo’s performance were disappointing, the experience lived up to expectations. The coolest part of the whole day though was who all got to go: my grandfather, father, brother, & brother-in-law. It was a great day and I am eager to return and watch them win!
Here are some pictures of the game:
Friday, September 4, 2009
Road Trip with Jerry Adams
A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to take a road trip with Jerry Adams. Unfortunately, the economy created a situation in which he had to take a new position in Raleigh, North Carolina. We drove for 2 days and had a really good time, despite his lack of personality and common decency… just kidding, I truly love and appreciate my friend.
He often spoke of how I challenged him, but it was he who challenged me. His devotion and example are remarkable. He and his wife Demie modeled grace, kindness and compassion in situations where pain permeated and created sorrow beyond belief. His passion for Jesus and God’s Word were a model for our church family to imitate… but more than all that, he was a great friend to me.
One of the highlights of the trip was getting to meet his father Grizz and brother Bill. It was obvious during dinner upon arriving that Jerry & Demie had made the right decision to move. The whole family enjoyed one another and resembled the type of bond I hope my family will posses as well. That being said, Jerry is still a jerk, especially for moving away!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
why PKs leave the church...
PKs have a reputation. Everybody knows that... and even though we try our best, there are generations of bitter pastors' kids who make all of us tremble when we think about raising our own.
I recently read the results of a study that asked "What influences do ministry parents have that affect whether their kids stay in the church?"
This study asked 111 questions of clergy parents across the Mid-Western states of North America to find answers. I wrote the researcher, Dr. Martin Weber, for permission to share his findings. Here's what he discovered:
* Parental conservatism regarding lifestyle standards is not statistically significant in attrition.
* Legalism regarding gospel doctrine (soteriology) is a moderately significant cause of attrition.
* Legalism regarding practicing the principles of the gospel is a major cause of attrition.
* For clergy parents to hold their own children to a higher behavioral standard is one of the highest causes of attrition.
* Lack of relationality in the pastoral family is the most serious cause of PK (pastors’ kids) attrition. Pastors with the highest retention rate of adult children are those who managed to provide the most positive and “fun” family experience in the parsonage and were close enough to talk about anything in an atmosphere of freedom that allowed children and teens latitude in developing their own faith experience.
* The greatest predictor of future faithfulness as an adult is whether the PK during growing up years takes initiative to approach a clergy parent to discuss spiritual matters.
* Closely associated with family relationality is the freedom and trust expressed in discussing controversial issues. There is no greater cause of attrition than to attempt to shield children from knowledge of, or to resist discussion about, church or denominational conflict.
* Congregational criticism of pastoral family members portends future attrition of adult children.
* There is definite significance between the experience of entering the pastorate during one’s 30s and the future attrition of one’s children.
* Having a clergy grandparent is a stabilizing factor in the spiritual life of a PK.
Dr. Weber also says that the three most significant factors in avoiding attrition are:
1. Being able to discuss church problems at home, while
2. Managing to sustain joy and togetherness in the family circle, and
3. Giving teens freedom to develop their own faith experience without the expectations of being super saints because they are the pastor's kids.
To read more of Dr. Weber's research, articles or books click HERE.
This post was taken from CLUTCH
I recently read the results of a study that asked "What influences do ministry parents have that affect whether their kids stay in the church?"
This study asked 111 questions of clergy parents across the Mid-Western states of North America to find answers. I wrote the researcher, Dr. Martin Weber, for permission to share his findings. Here's what he discovered:
* Parental conservatism regarding lifestyle standards is not statistically significant in attrition.
* Legalism regarding gospel doctrine (soteriology) is a moderately significant cause of attrition.
* Legalism regarding practicing the principles of the gospel is a major cause of attrition.
* For clergy parents to hold their own children to a higher behavioral standard is one of the highest causes of attrition.
* Lack of relationality in the pastoral family is the most serious cause of PK (pastors’ kids) attrition. Pastors with the highest retention rate of adult children are those who managed to provide the most positive and “fun” family experience in the parsonage and were close enough to talk about anything in an atmosphere of freedom that allowed children and teens latitude in developing their own faith experience.
* The greatest predictor of future faithfulness as an adult is whether the PK during growing up years takes initiative to approach a clergy parent to discuss spiritual matters.
* Closely associated with family relationality is the freedom and trust expressed in discussing controversial issues. There is no greater cause of attrition than to attempt to shield children from knowledge of, or to resist discussion about, church or denominational conflict.
* Congregational criticism of pastoral family members portends future attrition of adult children.
* There is definite significance between the experience of entering the pastorate during one’s 30s and the future attrition of one’s children.
* Having a clergy grandparent is a stabilizing factor in the spiritual life of a PK.
Dr. Weber also says that the three most significant factors in avoiding attrition are:
1. Being able to discuss church problems at home, while
2. Managing to sustain joy and togetherness in the family circle, and
3. Giving teens freedom to develop their own faith experience without the expectations of being super saints because they are the pastor's kids.
To read more of Dr. Weber's research, articles or books click HERE.
This post was taken from CLUTCH
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Kids' First Ranger Game
My kids first MLB Game at The Ballpark In Arlington July 31, 2009. It was even better, because my father & Grandfather were also able to attend. The kicker, the Ranger’s beat Seattle 5-4!
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